Letters to no one: The best friend I didn’t quite deserve.

Dear X,

I have never fully thanked you for everything that you’ve done. Actually, I’ve never felt the need to thank you for anything, cause we’ve outstripped the formalities by a country mile. But, cause you’ve been so nice about it, this is the least I could do.


So shall we begin?

“We get what we deserve.”

Personally, I don’t think I deserve you at all. On the contrary, you deserve me cause you’ve been such an ass, so I figure I’m the ‘deservee’ and you’re the ‘deserver’. 

Still doesn’t make sense? Honestly, have I ever said anything that makes even the slightest bit of sense? This is going to be one big ramble and since I wrote this for you,  you better shut the hell up and read it all.


I’ll know if you haven’t. Cause I’ll ask you. And… you probably wouldn’t have finished with it. 


Well if you’ve made it this far,  that contradicts the above statement. Good, be a nice person and read on.

I’ve known you for as long as I can possibly remember. (*Puts on glasses and a white beard*).  The amount of memories we’ve shared is enough to fill a small auditorium by itself. Sure there have been arguments that do crop up now and there are definitely days when you want to make me pull my hair out in sheer frustration, but who doesn’t have that?

For every negative, there are two or more positives. You can lift my spirit in a second, sit in a corner and laugh together for hours on end on absolutely nothing. You’re the perfect wingman, when it comes to hitting on people slightly ahem better looking than us. In fact, you’re so awesome at it, that invariably every single time, I end up with egg on my face. Sometimes, quite literally.

With you, the arguments materialize in a matter of minutes and by the end of the conversation we look back and go,”Wait. This was supposed to be an argument. How the hell did we end up here?”

But more than anything else, thank you, man. Thank you for taking all the shit that I give you. Thank you for being there in times of trouble, even if Mother Mary was around and spoke to me. Thanks for being the one person who I can be completely and irrevocably shameless around. To me, you’ve been a pillar of strength and as shy as I am to admit it, I’d be hopelessly lost without you. 

So before this starts to become rather emotional and sappy, I’ll wrap it up.

I can never fully repay you for things you’ve done and I don’t think I ever will. But for now, all I can say is


Thank you, man.



(P.S: I know you want me to buy you food. Not a chance in hell.)


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