Bang-Bang: A review

Hahaha this poster is wrong, ON SO MANY LEVELS.
Hahaha this poster is wrong, ON SO MANY LEVELS.

Honestly I expected this film to suck.

And for the most part, it did. That’s not to say I didn’t have fun whilst watching the film. It is EXACTLY what it promises to be. A no brainer film starring exotic locales, extravagant set pieces, Jimmy Shergill for some odd reason, Katrina Kaif, Hrithik Roshan’s abs and dance moves, and Johnson Tiles and Pizza Hut.

Yes, this movie is product placement heaven.

There’s not much you can do when you remake a mediocre film; Bang-Bang is Bollywood’s ahem ode to the not so well received Knight and Day It suffers from the same problems the original did, but it compensates by throwing more of Hrithik Roshan’s abs and green eyes into your face. And Katrina Kaif’s face too as well.

Bang-Bang stars Katrina Kaif as Harleen, a bank assistant in Shimla who can’t seem to get herself a date and resorts to a site called “trueluvv.com” to find her “Saccha Pyaar”.

Yes this is a world where Katrina Kaif cannot get a man. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, this world EXISTS.

KATRINA KAIF IS ON THE SHIMLA VERSION OF TINDER AND IS GETTING REJECTED AT THE MOMENT.

Sorry, common sense intervened there. That won’t happen again.

As it turns out, she runs into Rajveer(Hrithik Roshan) who she falls head over heels in love, and breaks into a dance with, whilst promoting Johnson Tiles. Turns out, Rajveer is a thief who’s stolen the Kohinoor Diamond after Umar Zafar(Played by Danny Denzongpa) puts out a 5 million price tag on it. As fate would have it, young Harleen gets dragged into the mire as Rajveer jumps off buildings, drives Volvo cars into narrow lanes, dangles from a bus and jumps off a Pizza Hut into a ravine. And then it goes international, Roshan takes his shirt off some more, dances some more, shoots some more(The Ocean sequence was very well done, so props there) and now we have a movie.

Again. What is it with Roshan and product placement!?? He wakes up an unconscious Katrina Kaif to promote Mountain Dew at one point in time. It is borderline ridiculous.

Sorry, common sense. Again.

Honestly, my expectations from this film was extremely low, which greatly benefited my viewing experience. There’s nothing new here for you to see. The lead pair are stunning, especially Roshan who seems to have skipped the mid-life crisis phase and jumped straight into the Daniel Craig-Clooney phase. He’s probably the best thing about the film, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows it. Katrina Kaif plays a damsel in distress, a role she’s now all but made her own. Surprisingly, the two have no chemistry at all, and most of their exchanges are flat and seem very contrived.

The Joey theory would actually explain all of it, but let’s not go there.

Basically, Bang-Bang is two hours of mindless entertainment that you’ve come to expect and accept from Bollywood. You probably won’t remember once you step out of the theater, but It’s still fun to watch as a spectacle, and will no doubt rake in the moolah, no matter what the reviews say. It’s not great, but honestly, you’ve seen far worse.

HR
Hrithik. Stop it man. You’re making the rest of us look bad.

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